Cheaper by a Dozen Kisses
by punnylove
Summary: All the pairings between the Murtaugh and Baker family that are possible, and a little family fluff thrown in as well. Chapter 4 Up! "A very AU drabble that has the strangest pairing yet."
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Semi-Crack, all the pairings between the Murtaugh and Baker family that are possible, and a little family fluff thrown in as well.

1. **Sarah and Elliot: Oh, **_**Brother**_

Jake groaned, watching Elliot and Sarah flirting _while he was_ still there. _Not_ cool. Sarah might not have realized it until now, but there'd been boys chasing her since she started, um, turning into a _real _girl. With bras and everything. He'd always done the big brother thing, kept an eye on things, threatened to beat up anyone who didn't deserve his sister. Which was pretty much everybody.

After all, Sarah was smart, pretty, _and_ almost as good as an athlete as he was. She didn't nag like Nora or whine like Lorraine or act all smart like Jessica and Kim. And there his soon-to-be _ex-_best friend was, smiling at her like he thought he actually had a _chance, _or something. Except, maybe he did, a little. Elliot was pretty cool.

Still—Jake pushed between the two. "Come on, dudes, lets get rollin'." Shooting a warning glare at Elliot, he put a protective arm around Sarah. It didn't matter how cool Elliot was. Flirting with his sister on _his_ turf? _Not _gonna happen.

2. **Charlie and Anne: Ring**

She smiled into his mouth as he kissed her, her arms circling around his neck. "What about your dad?"

"What about him? 'Sides, I think we should be more worried about your dad."

"He loves me, you know. More than he shows."

"Hard to tell, but he must have done something right for you to grow into—"

"You going to finish that?"

"Do you want me to? Funny, never took you as someone who liked flattery."

"Charlie Baker, if you think I want you to flatter me, then get the _hell_ out—_mmmh_!"

She glared at a wickedly grinning Charlie, who promptly stole another kiss before dropping to one knee. Anne caught her breath as he said, "Anne Murtaugh, you are the most gorgeous, beautiful, smart, wonderful girl I know, and the only woman I could ever love. Will you marry me?"

3. **Calvin and Lorraine: Party**

The thing is, no matter how much Lorraine complains about her family, she really, really loves them. So when she's suddenly alone in New York, without Sarah yelling at her to hurry up or Nora's cooking or Kyle and Nigel to crawl into bed with her during storms—Lorraine has to admit, she's lonely.

She spies Calvin Murtaugh at a senior party, which surprises her because she'd thought him too uptight to want an invite and too unconnected to get them if he did. Her roommate happens to be the host's brother's girlfriend's cousin or something, and Lorraine just couldn't say no after Kaylia went through so much trouble to get them invites. (Besides, this was a _senior_ party, which implied some sort of class.) They'd arrived fashionably late, and someone had dragged Kaylia away the moment they'd stepped through the door. Lorraine scanned the crowd, looking for someone who looked cute, (and sober) enough to spend a couple hours with.

She sees him by the punch bowl, his shirt stained with the liquid, and for a moment her heart skips a beat and she remembers him shirtless at Lake Winnetka all those years ago. "I'm surprised to see you here," she said, walking over, "You don't seem the type."

Calvin turns coolly to her, raising an eyebrow. "Really? You do. I always expected to see you at one of these things, Lorraine Baker, but your freshman year?" He smiled, "Pretty fast work."

Lorraine's cheeks flushed. "If you're implying that I'm a party girl, then I don't know why I bothered to come talk to you," she snapped, "I work hard in my classes, and my parents can't afford my tuition, even with the scholarship, so I work part time every day. This happens to be my first party all semester."

She turns to stomp away, only to have a very masculine arm wrap around her shoulders. "Relax, Lorraine. It was a compliment. Not many freshies score tickets to one of Ramaya Lopez's parties." She can feel the wetness of his shirt and turns to look at him. "You're all wet."

"Yeah, roommate got sloshed and spilled all over me." He lets her go, taking a step back. "Don't want to stain whatever you're wearing—it's nice, by the way." Lorraine grins at him. "You think so?" Twirling a little, she smoothed down the one-piece dress-shirt that ended at her knees in a neat bob. "I designed it to be professional, comfortable, and sexy at the same time."

She's not sure, but she thinks she hears Calvin mutter, "You got that right." She knows she's not imagining the way his eyes sweep her clothes, and her in them. Holding her chin high, she meets his gaze squarely when he looks up, and he smiles at her. "See something you like?" she challenges.

"Very," he replies smoothly, and Lorraine can't help but remember the first time they met and he seemed so much more mature than her. Now, swaying against him as they danced, she hears his heartbeat match her own and wonders when she caught up. Or if she had ever really been behind.

4. **Daniel and Jessica: Stereotype**

Jessica really hates the term, "dumb jock." She's gone as far as putting up posters and running rallies, all to keep the people at middle, and then high school, from using the term. She's tells everyone it's because she's against the objectifying of athletic prowess and stereotypes, but then _he_ comes for a surprise visit and she throws herself into his arms. With her head buried in Daniel Murtaugh's chest, she complains about how stupid people are for believing that brains are impossible with brawns and good looks.

Her boyfriend just rubs her back until she stops ranting. The next day, he shows up to pick her up from school, and her friends are in total shock. "National youth swimming champion and still manages a 5.0 GPA," she smirks, and links her arm through his as they exit the school.

5. **Jake and Robin: Unique**

When she turns thirteen, Robin Murtaugh decides she's not going to be confused with her twin sister anymore. So, she drops out of the academic decathlon, the Math Olympics, and the Science Fair, joins "Save Our Environment," and starts volunteering at the animal shelter. She cuts her hair until it's a shoulder-length bob and starts wearing Goodwill instead of designer.

Two years later, she's over her brief identity crisis, and her hair is long again, though she still works with nature, having decided to become a vet after falling in love with her job at the animal shelter. It still annoys her when people call her Lisa—_honestly_, they're _not_ that similar—but she's gotten used to it.

A month before her sixteenth birthday, her father announces that Sarah and Jake Baker will be staying with them for two weeks. Turns out, they've both placed at the national skateboard competition, and this year's final round happens to be about two blocks from their house.

Robin shrugs when she hears the news. Sure, she's happy for Elliot, who is by _far_ her favorite brother, but it doesn't really affect her. With so many siblings, she learned not to keep the bathroom door unlocked a _long_ time ago. She remembers Jake faintly as a skinny skater boy with a nice smile and cute hair, and sees Sarah as the girl her brother's been in love with since middle school, but they're not really _real_ until she's feeding some homeless puppies and someone taps her on the shoulder.

"'Sup, Robin Murtaugh," someone says, and she whirls around, only to be confronted by a shirtless Jake Baker. _When did he get abs like that_?

"Mr. Murtaugh says it's time to go in," he says, but instead of waiting, he bends down to sit next to her and offers his hand to the nearest puppy, whistling gently. Robin watches as the animal bares its teeth, but gradually comes over to sniff him. Jake laughs as it licks him gingerly.

It's a hot day, and despite his current shirtless state Jake is sweating, and Robin suddenly realizes that she isn't wearing anything more than a sports bra and booty-shorts. Still—this was Jake Baker. Tall, post-pubescent, and incredibly _hot_ Jake Baker, but still the skater he was when he was twelve and she was nine.

"Come'on," he says, and gets to his feet, offering a tanned hand. She takes it, and he pulls her up easily. "Let's go, Robin."

"I'm Lisa," she blurts out, and for some reason she wants him to call her a liar.

Jake rolls his eyes. "I was raised with twins," he said, "And you think I can't tell you and Lisa apart? 'Sides, you've got a dimple, right here." He touches her chin, "and you were always the one who loved animals. Mark had a crush on you for a long time because he thought you guys would make the perfect animal-loving couple. Now, let's go."

"I'm _not_ hot for Jake Baker," Robin told herself as they walked through the woods, "Not even if he's got a killer six-pack, or can tell me apart from Lisa, or knows where my dimple is—" She's so preoccupied that she doesn't realize he's stopped until she bumps into him.

"Yo, Rob?" he says, looking down at her, "Want to know another reason I can never, ever get you and Lisa mixed-up?" He grinned, "You're the only Murtaugh twin that still gives me butterflies." Winking, he disappeared past the last trees and into the lawn of the house, leaving Robin staring open-mouthed after him.

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><p><em>So, first five pairings are up! These five really weren't too outlandish, and they totally make sense, age-wise. I'll be getting to the less orthodox pairings in later chapters. So, hate it, love it? Tell me what you think, and what parings you would like! Or give me a prompt you want me to do a couple on. (No slashincest, though a request for family fluff is welcome.)_


	2. Chapter 2

_Note to Amiini: In the movies, Jessica and her twin were extremely mature for their ages, so I thought it would make sense for her to pair up with an older guy. Similarly, I think it makes sense for her twin to pair up with a younger man. It makes sense for Jessica because I picture her as someone who can keep up with Daniel intellectually, and it makes sense for Kim because I picture her as a more motherly figure. Thanks for the correction about Madison/Lisa, and I hope you like this chapter!_

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><p><em>Everyone—review and request! I'm sort of running out of couples, and if you guys have any ideas, I'll be more than happy to use them!<em>

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><p>1. <strong>Kim and Kenneth: Mrs. Robinson<strong>

She'd known she'd be teased when her family found out about her dating Kenneth Murtaugh. Dad would groan and Mom would muse about why her children insisted on dating, (and, in Charlie's case, marrying), a family whose head threatened to give her husband apoplexy every time they met.

She'd expected the cracks from Sarah about how funny it was that while her twin had chosen to date a guy much older than her, she'd chosen, as her athletic sister put it, a "younger man." She'd steeled herself against the grossed out looks from Mike, ignored the complaints of Kyle and Nigel, (who had to deal with their broken-hearted friends), and even bribed Jessica to take off some of the pressure by inviting Daniel over for dinner. (Dad had nearly turned purple at the sight of the broad-shouldered college-student kissing his sixteen-year old daughter.)

What she hadn't expected was Kenneth Murtaugh himself to turn against her. He'd cornered her in the (very _public_) school library with a guitar in hand and a smirk that always made her stomach do strange things. Blowing a kiss at her, he started strumming, and Kim felt her eyes widen in absolute horror as the familiar chords reached her ears. "_Kenneth Murtaugh_," she hissed, trying to grab the guitar, but despite being a full two years younger, he was taller than her and evaded her grasp easily.

"_Hey, Mrs. Robinson,_" he sang, and Kim felt her face burning as people started turning to look at them. Giving up the struggle for his guitar, she grabbed her textbook on computer-programming and walked out as nonchalantly as possible. Ken was still following her, still singing that_ abominable _song.

She managed not to strangle him until they were alone, secluded behind the library. "_What_ do you think you're doing?" she yelled, throwing herself at him, "You inconsiderate, _immature_, idiot of a boy!" Her voice caught in her throat and she turned away. She would _not_ let him see her cry.

The strumming stopped. She could feel him hesitating behind her, but she refused to turn around. Lean arms encircled her waist, and an apologetic face buried itself into her neck. "Sorry, Kim," came Ken's contrite voice, "I thought it would be funny, since you are, _you know_—"

Kim stiffened and tried to pull away, but he held on. "We're only two years apart," she said, "And it's not funny. My family's been giving me hell all week, and now I find out you're even worse. At least the Bakers know better than to make fun of me in public." Her voice cracked, and she tried in vain to extricate himself from his grasp. "_Let _go—"

He spun her around so that she was facing him. "I wasn't making fun of you," Kenneth Murtaugh said insistently, "Kim, you're the best girlfriend ever, and I'm _proud_ of you. None of my friends have girlfriends who are as smart, or pretty, or who can drive them everywhere—" he saw the look on her face and paused, "Sorry. That wasn't the right place for a joke." He shuffled his feet, letting her go. "I thought you'd like it if I serenaded you, you know? Mike said girls liked that kind of thing, and since he was your brother—" he saw the first tear roll down her eyes and his voice became panicky. "I'm really sorry, Kim. _Please_, don't cry. I _really _love you."

Kim sniffled, wiping her eyes. "First of all," she said, "Most girls like to be serenaded with a song that doesn't make them feel old. Secondly, I _hate_ that song, and have since Jessica made me watch with her when we were nine. I wouldn't let Mike go near our babysitter for months. Thirdly," she paused, "I really love you too." Leaning up, she kissed him firmly, then pulled away. "But don't _ever_ mention that name to me again."

Ken nodded, still looking dazed from the kiss. His girlfriend smiled fondly at him, her beautiful eyes lighting up, and he wrapped an arm around her. "Ben Braddock _never_ had it as good as me," he murmured, "Mrs. Robinson turned out to be a jerkawitz, and Anne Bancroft has nothing on you, Kim Baker." He grinned as she laughed.

2. **Mark and Lisa: Gentle**

Lisa loved walking in the woods, despite hating bugs, hot weather, and nature in general. There was something about how the noises the insects made blended into the overall atmosphere that made them less icky, and the heat really didn't matter so much when she compared it to the reward of watching the sun make rainbows as it bounced off her watch. She danced a little as she walked, too caught up in the peacefulness of the woods to notice the creature in the path until she looked down and screamed.

It was _huge_, almost double the size of her foot, and slimy-looking, with bulbous eyes and a dirty-green skin that pulsed. She shuddered, and the frog croaked at her. Its hind feet twitched, and Lisa felt a wave of dizziness. If the thing jumped at her, she'd faint. She just knew it.

And then, suddenly, he was there. Mark Baker, the shy kid who'd watched the other kids play while she watched him from the comfort of her lawn chair. She'd always been drawn to his kind smile and big, innocent eyes. Even when her father was coaching them to "fight to win," she'd thought of Mark Baker's gentle way with animals and how she really couldn't imagine him as "the enemy," no matter what her Daddy said.

The frog croaked again, and Lisa whimpered. Mark put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "He won't hurt you," he promised confidently, and Lisa felt the panic recede—just a little. Mark walked forward, gently lifted the creature, and walked off into the woods. Lisa followed, and watched him place the amphibian gently onto a rock. That was when she, Lisa Murtaugh, fell in love.

Mark was quiet, sweet, and a perfect gentleman—but most of all, he had that tenderness about him, a softness that was unlike anything she'd ever known. All the boys in her family had a powerful drive to succeed, even though most of them didn't go so far as their father did to win. Even Elliot, (who really _was_ a sweetheart,) never let anyone push him around.

Mark was different. If she wanted ice-cream during one of their morning walks in the middle of winter, he just smiled and asked, "What flavor?" He never seemed to get mad when other boys teased him for being smaller and seemingly weaker than they were. His attitude was almost _too _placid, too humble.

They'd been dating three years when Carl Jonalstan abruptly walked up to her and asked her out on a date, right in front of Mark. She'd been too shocked to react except to stammer that she was already dating someone. Carl had sneered, dismissing Mark with a disdainful look. "Him? Frog boy? Sweetheart, you're _way_ too good for a pansy like him. Let me show you what a_ real_ man can—"

And then Mark had punched him right in the middle of leering face—hard enough to break his nose. Lisa gasped at the blood, and at the furious-looking Mark, who promptly grabbed her and marched away. "Come on," he growled, "Let's get away from this jerk." And that was when she, Lisa Murtaugh, knew that Mark Baker loved her.

3. **Henry and Becky: Music**

He still loved playing his clarinet, but as time went by and college went from far-off to shockingly _there_, he started thinking seriously if whether he wanted to depend on the clarinet for his future income. There wasn't really much demand for the instrument—and the statistics for successful musicians were depressing enough already that the chances of him making it with his clarinet was very, very slim.

So, he started to spend more time at school, developed a love of biology, and by the time he was a graduating senior, he had a scholarship to one of the best medical schools in his state. Henry saw the pride in his father's eyes, in Charlie's eyes, and he felt accomplished, like he'd managed to do something no one in his family had ever done. (He knew Jessica and/or Kim were probably both going to graduate High School with _much_ higher GPA's and scholarship opportunities, but hey, he was going to savor the moment as long as he could.)

IU Health is intensive, exhausting, and more studying than he's ever done in his life crammed into the two hours between classes, sleep, and the occasional meal. He loses a lot of his belly fat, (which is a plus), but he also loses a lot of time he'd previously spent practicing the clarinet. It lay in his drawers, not forgotten but a memory of a dream he'd never really ever considered real.

He spots Becky at a Coffee Shop, and he stares because he cannot believe it is _Becky Murtaugh_ playing a flute in the middle of the shop with an open case in front of her half-filled with money. He drops a five in and she just happens to glance up. They stare at each other, and then Becky abruptly stops playing snaps shut her case, and walks out.

He goes back the next day, and the next. She's always there, and after a couple days she stops leaving. The fourth day, he finally gets up the courage to ask her what she's doing.

"Practicing," she says, like it's obvious, and Henry forces himself to be patient.

"I mean, why are you practicing in a Coffee Shop? Weren't you going to Harvard for law or something?"

Becky shrugged. "I liked this better. I'm attending Juliard next fall, but I'm paying my own tuition. Most of the money's going to come from my savings, but I'm still a little short." She started to gather her things, and then paused. "Are you still playing?"

"Yes. Sort of…" he trails off. Becky Murtaugh looks at him fully for the first time, and he thinks he sees a bit of understanding in her eyes. "Schoolwork got busy, and I just didn't have time," he admitted, "I actually haven't played in a couple months."

Becky gave him a long, measured look. "I don't say this to many, Henry Baker, so listen up. You've got talent. Don't waste it." She spun and walked out, leaving a flabbergasted Henry behind.

The next day, Becky Murtaugh arrives at the Coffee Shop to find a boy with a clarinet warming up in her accustomed chair. She stalks forward. "What do you think you're doing?" she demands, hands-on-hips. Henry smiled at her. "Not wasting my talent," he said innocently, "And helping the girl who helped me realize I had any get to Juliard."

Their combined playing more than doubles her usual intake, so Becky lets him stay. She always had a soft spot for the musical Baker anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

_For "Cheaper Than the Dozen Lover," thanks for the idea!_

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><p><em><strong>~Anniversaries~<strong>_

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><p>1. <strong>Charlie and Anne: Sensitive<strong>

He tries to go all out and be the whole "Mr. Sensitive" on their anniversary—yes, he _does _remember—but despite being in a huge family he's never really learned to cook, and he can't sing to save his life. She's still touched when he arrives on her doorstep with cookie dough in his hair and offers her a bouquet of hand-picked flowers. When she kisses him, she can taste the sweetness of residue sugar and smiles into his mouth.

2. **Elliot and Sarah: Remembering**

Contrary to her father's belief, the Baker family meets again at Lake Winnetka the next year, and Sarah is ecstatic to find that the Murtaugh family is also there. As soon as she arrives she heads for the lakeside, where Elliot is waiting. They look at each other shyly for a couple moments, because even though they'd called, facebooked, and e-mailed each other throughout the year—it wasn't the same as seeing the other face-to-face.

She's the first one to break the silence and Elliot catches her easily as she throws herself into his arms. "Missed you," she murmured, burying her head in his chest. They spend the next hour walking along the shore and remembering the last year, hands linked and hearts flying.

3. **Calvin and Lorraine: Earrings**

They fight the night before their anniversary—Lorraine's stressed about finals and just isn't in the mood to deal with what she calls his "I'm-Murtaugh-therefore-I-am-right," attitude. He ends up storming out of her dorm room and she's too tired to call him to make up.

Their anniversary is all awkward silences and waiting for their phones to ring, until Lorraine finally shuts her textbooks and goes for a walk to ease the tension from her shoulders. When she gets back, she finds a package on her desk with Calvin's forceful handwriting across the top.

_For you. You'll do great—but here's a little something extra. ~Love, Calvin._

She opens it, and her breath catches, because it's the most beautiful pair of shamrock earrings she's ever seen, and she feels tears pricking her eyes at the "Happy Anniversary" card poking out from between the jewelry. After her last final the next day, she shows up at his apartment wearing the shamrock earrings and when he opens the door, throws her arms around him and whispers, "I love you," for the first time.

4. **Daniel and Jessica: Publicity**

All her friends are insanely jealous when he shows up in his new Mercedes-Benz to bring her flowers on their first-year anniversary, but Jessica and Daniel only have eyes for each other and the onlookers soon disperse. "You didn't have to do this," Jessica murmured, sliding into the passenger's seat, "I know you don't like being stared at."

Daniel squeezed her hand as they pulled out of the school parking lot. "But you do, Jess, and I think I can stand a little of the spotlight to make my girlfriend happy on our anniversary."

5. **Jake and Robin: Dirty**

She actually forgets their anniversary. He finds her in the woods, hands covered in blood as she tries to help a stray dog give birth. Without saying a word, Jake squats down beside her and helps wipe the puppies clean as they are born—rubbing their fur the wrong way to keep them warm and helping Robin dip bits of cloth in milk so they can suck.

When the mother dies soon after the last baby is born, Jake ignores the grime on his girlfriend's hands and pulls her into a hug, kissing away her tears and promising that they'll find a home for the pups, even if the mother is dead. They spend the rest of their anniversary bringing the puppies home, and it isn't until a week later that Jake remembers to give Robin her gift.

She finds the little dog figurine adorable, but the memory of Jake's strong arms holding her as she cried was her favorite gift, and when she tells him so he just laughs and quips that he'll keep that in mind next year.

6. **Kim and Kenneth: Sweet**

Ken is flat-out broke on their anniversary. His stocks just dropped seven points and so he can forget about calling the bank, and none of the siblings who might consider lending him money are home—except Daniel, and Ken just _knows _that if he asks Daniel and admits that it's for Kim's anniversary present, the news will travel to Jessica, who will tell her twin, who will never speak to him again.

So, when Kim Baker arrives at his house wearing a new, sleek violet dress and her most expensive earrings, he really doesn't want to open the door. "Can you come back later?" he calls sheepishly, "I'm, um, kind of not ready."

He can almost feel the incredulity flowing off of his girlfriend of one year. "Kenneth Murtaugh, are you kidding me?" There's a pause, and then she adds, a little softer and suddenly a lot more vulnerable, "Did you forget what today is?"

_Shit._ "No, of course not!" he reassures her, and curses himself for his stupidity as he opens the door. Kim looks mature and sophisticated, with her hair tied in classy bun and the designer bag he bought her for Christmas. She is staring at him, mouth open.

He knows he looks ridiculous, and very much like a boy, with the flour in his hair and the frosting on his face, and blushes a deep red. "Sorry, Kim. I was trying to bake a cake—and it kind of exploded."

She rolls her eyes and laughs. "Ken, what is it with boys and baking? Charlie tried to do the same thing for Anne on their first anniversary."

Rolling up her sleeves, she walked into his house, and raised one eyebrow at the mess of a kitchen. "Come on, I guess we're eating at your place. Help me clean up, and then we can order some Chinese."

She started walking towards the sink, only to be grabbed from behind by her boyfriend, who promptly kisses her straight on the mouth. She can taste the chocolate syrup that somehow got its way onto his lips, and smiles, because it makes the kiss twice as sweet.

7. **Mark and Lisa: Romantic**

Whenever Lisa dreamed about her first-year anniversary, she always pictured sweet music, an expensive restaurant, herself in a beautiful dress and her boyfriend in a tux. It was her favorite romantic daydream, and she treasured it like a baby did it blanket.

Instead, when the day came, she found herself in Mark's room hesitatingly reaching out to touch a _snake_, of all things. Her boyfriend's eyes were encouraging as her fingers inched closer and closer, until they finally brushed against the scales of the reptile.

Lisa instinctively flinched, and Mark's arms went over hers, one rubbing soothing circles on her shoulder and the other guiding her hand over the snake's surprisingly smooth skin. He leaned over her, whispering comforting facts about how interesting the reptile actually was, and Lisa found herself relaxing.

It may not be the most traditional anniversary, but she guessed that as far as romance went, it wasn't that bad.

8. **Henry and Becky**

They spent their anniversary at a karaoke bar, where each found out that, while their instrumental skills were undoubtedly amazing, their singing left a lot to be desired. Still, they laughed and tried to sing and by the end of the night were as happy as two music-lovers could be.


	4. Chapter 4

_Just a really weird idea that's been bothering me. Also, my estimate as to their ages might be a bit off._

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><p>"You really think they'll like me?"<p>

Jimmy Murtaugh smiled down at his new bride, who looked absolutely adorable as she smiled nervously back at him. She was chewing her lip, and he resisted the urge to kiss the frown off her face. "They'll love you," he said instead, "Don't worry."

His wife—_he liked the sound of that—_didn't seem to hear him. "I mean, I'm so young. Calvin's only a couple years younger. Oh, God, we used to _play _together!" She buried her head in her hands, "Jimmy, I don't think I can do this."

"Thank you for making me feel like the dirty old man I am," Jimmy said wryly, running his hands through his graying hair, "The death-glares and hints Tom gave me really wasn't enough."

She gave a small giggle. "You are a lot older than me."

"A fact I will never forget, thanks to your charming family."

"It's not like you didn't expect Dad to throw a fit."

"With our history, I hardly expected otherwise. Hope, however, has a strange way of sneaking up on you." Not for the first time, he took her hand in his and gave it a reassuring pat. "Nora Baker, you are a beautiful, wonderful, caring woman and I love you. I'm sure my children will too."

Nora Baker—Nora Baker Murtaugh now, smiled and snuggled into his side. "I love you too. And you're not _that_ old."

"Nineteen years, sweetheart. That's a big age difference."

"Ok, you are that old." Nora smiled impishly at him, "But I love you, so it doesn't matter. Love's blind, remember?"

"When _I'm_ blind and senile, I'll hold you to that." Jimmy tightened his grip around his wife's shoulders, counting the seconds she stayed relaxed in his grip. _Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen…_

She stiffened. "Oh my god. What about Elliot? Didn't he have a crush on Sarah a couple years ago? And _Annie_. Please tell me she's over Charlie."

Jimmy muffled a laugh. "Relax, Nora. Sarah and Charlie seemed ok with us, didn't they? Don't you think they would have mentioned something if they'd still harbored romantic feelings for their soon-to-be in-laws?"

"You're right," Nora said, "Of course you're right." She sat up and grinned, "There was a time when you would have just told them to deal with it, like they weren't your problem."

"That was before I met you." Thinking back on how he'd been before he'd fallen hard for the Baker's oldest daughter, Jimmy had to wince. It had been a long, hard road reconnecting with the man he'd been before letting his competitive streak ruin his life, but with Nora's help, he'd managed it.

And as his prize, he'd won the heart of the woman who'd stolen his.

Tom had been _furious_…

Nora felt his laughter and gave him a glance. "What's so funny?"

He shrugged. "Just remembering Tom's reaction when we told him. I thought for sure he was going to go into cardiac arrest—"

"—and then he almost took your head off with the pool stick. I remember." Nora made a face, "Telling him with any possible weaponry nearby probably wasn't one of our best ideas." She grinned, "Mom was good about it, though, after she made sure I was marrying you for all the right reasons, and not just because you're so freakin' rich."

Jimmy shuddered. In his opinion, Kate Baker had been much more threatening than her husband. He still remembered the glint in her eyes when she'd told him to take care of her daughter or _else_. The fact that she'd been chopping onions with a very sharp knife hadn't helped.

Nora giggled. "I think Dad was miffed because we eloped. He wanted the whole, 'walk my daughter down the aisle and give an embarrassing speech' cliché. Lorraine was pretty mad about that too—she really wanted to be my maid-of-honor."

"It was just as well," Jimmy said, "I would have had to ask Tom to be my best man, and he would have swallowed the ring himself before letting me put it on your finger."

Nora shot him a sideways look. "How did my siblings take it? I mean, I never asked you before but the way they treated my previous boyfriends—" she smiled uncertainly, "They didn't set Jack on you, did they?"

"I have a way with dogs," Jimmy said, "And the smell of meat is very distinctive."

Nora gave a moan, dropping her head into her hands. "I'm so sorry, Jimmy."

"Don't be. Your siblings love you. That's nothing to feel sorry for."

The car had left the freeway now, and the chauffeur had flashed the "five-minute" sign. They were almost there. Nora slipped her hand into Jimmy's and closed her eyes, forcing her stomach to settle down. "What exactly was their reaction, again? When you told them about us, I mean."

"I said, 'I'm eloped with Nora Baker, and you brats better treat her right or you'll be out on the streets.'"

"Jimmy—"

"And they said, 'Get out the chainsaws and matches!'"

"…that's not funny."

Jimmy Murtaugh squeezed his wife's hand again. "Sorry, sweetheart. I told them I'd fallen in love and married the most beautiful woman in the world—"

"Did you say who I was?"

"Yes, I did mention your name. After that there was too much pandemonium to really pick out any distinct phrase."

"Oh, God."

"I did, however, catch Annie shrieking that she was now her ex-boyfriend's Aunt, which was really quite disturbing."

"Oh, _God_."

"Calvin likes you."

"I played _house_ with him and forced him to be the dog."

"The twins love you."

"…really?"

"Really. They said you introduced them to Kafka."

Nora smiled sheepishly. "I was taking the class and they were so engaging—I sort of forgot they were in middle school."

"So, that's already three of them you've won over. Practically fifty percent."

"You forgot your extended family, your friends, your _boss_."

"Sweetie, the good thing about being rich is that you really don't have to care what your bosses think, your friends are usually very tolerant, and your extended family wants in on the will."

The car came to a stop and Jimmy gave his wife a smile. "Ready, Nora?"

"No."

He laughed and opened the door. "Sweetheart, they'll love you almost as much as I do."

Nora swallowed hard and stepped out of the car, eyeing the huge house in front of them. "Jimmy? I love you, but I think you're insane."

"I love you too, honey."


End file.
